My Divorce: The Cruel Case of Criminal Act by Ex & His Paramour

September 26, 2011

Although everyone says that divorce court is the most bitter places, my divorce case is spectaculary different from other usual cases. In the process of his affair with his boss’s wife that must have gone on for years, he has created some false police reports, which means that he had been lyeing under oath.

Obviously, my vicious soon-to-be ex and his office paramour have been preparing how to get rid of me costlessly (by blocking my greencard process so kick out of this country (through previous false police reports; before ruining/blocking my access to university or any people on campus too). And, now as it failed, he/she are reversely framing me into their place, the person who has planned to divorce and plotted him to be in trouble, and victimize themselves.

The first thing, this vicious guy tightly controlled all finances. In a few days after his salary was deposited,
all the money from his bank account were drained/sent away except a few hundreds for very basic grocery. So, I haven’t had any cash access or there’s no way of saving any. If I have been able to do it, he would have screamed, hit and taken money away.

As mentioned above, my soon-to-be-ex has falsified several police cases (first reason) to block my green card process so that I have to leave this country and he can go on with his secret without letting anybody know (that scheme didn’t work out as I finally received my green card a few weeks ago); (Second reason) he has been punching me as much as he likes over two years to make me quite about him/her to anybody while he can do whatever he likes inside outside.

In detail, in this process, to ousiders, he has been pretending that he is such a nice guy, such a great family
man, has been suffering, being victimized by his jealous wife; that’s the rumor he/his paramour have created around his work place over years, convincing people around, whom I barely knew or haven’t met or occasionally greeted in streets a few times in past years, his boss (the woman’s husband who has been babysitting their two little kids during nights for years while his wife was out in workplace to hang around with my ex while sorting equipments etc.). My ex used to go out during nights to teach (even during the semester in which he didn’t have night classes to teach at all, but lied to me that he has night teaching). And when I called him, he was not in his office during and after the falsified class time, and even 30 minutes or 1 hour after the false evening classes were over. (I had been student  for long time, I never saw that kind of enthusiastic students to line up to talk to instructor for an hour, especially after night classes.).

He used to claim that, after night classes were over, the line of students to ask questions to him has been always  too long (without one single exception for the last 2 & ½ years), which have always taken him 30 minutes to one hour to answer to them. Even when he didn’t have night classes, he did this exact same lies.). He also had to go out to his office even during nights that he didn’t have night classes to teach because home internet connection had been so horribly bad especially for his computer (while my internet connection worked fine), or he had to buy coffee machine/lab equipments for his main office (it was not supposed to be done by office secretary or the actual lab person?), etc.; and came home after eating dinner outside, claiming how horrible I was and upset
him so he had to eat outside alone in fastfood place (did anything happened at home before he went out? I was agasped.). And continuing pushing, hitting, screaming at home, in front of kids, belittling mom in front of kids, manipulating kids’ mind. And falsified police things. All these have been planned over years to create the court environment later in his favor by putting himself in the position of victim so that his divorce case would go easy and costless (if still I get green card and don’t have to leave this country; and good explanation to his collegues
in either cases). Even in the middle of his hitting me, which continued over the last two years, he used to yell at me, “Don’t Victimize Yourself !” and was punching again. I wondered where on earth, the word, “Victimize” was coming from. (later, I understood that he/his paramour must have been research all those legal terms
while she and her husband also was preparing the potential legal actions in case of their jobs are in jeopardy.) And right after the Ex punched me, he used to say that “I hit him, I assaulted him.” In face of his direct outright lies
right after his acts, I was just speechless.

In my divorce processing up to now, there’s no such a thing as “Justice Served,” or what so ever. It’s like, “What
the Hell?” And I am gasping at the unbelievable ways that this legal system has functioned for me up to now. I feel like I have been double, triple victimized, first by a person (persons) and now by social system that obviously often works against the weak person / victims because they don’t have any means to fight back, few outlets. When I heard news about all these police stuffs, I never imagined what actually they were, they could have been.

This woman and her husband have been preparing for a lawsuit, in case if their workplace decides to close their department, because the department doesn’t have its own students and has been relying on teaching introductory courses for other departments’ students. So, as this woman was getting familiar with all these legal process, both she/he were also preparing the divorce process, all those false alarm police reports, legal terms to make me unfit humanbeing (so he doesn’t have to give me financial support that much). Just they probably expected that this divorce will happen after he gets tenure so that at that time, they don’t worry about him getting fired and both freely divorce from each others’ spouses, and he probably moves into his boss’s house, whom gave him a job and saved his life.

But they probably expect that because I have been bounded by greencard trouble, I wouldn’t be able to go police or do anything about his continuous hitting and screaming abuse of years. So, when I actually did it because it has been going extremely dangerous for my safety, for which still I went to counselor to ask him about what to do because I couldn’t make decision, it was pretty much “Off-Timing” from their original plan which should have happened one or two years later when the Ex’s position becomes guaranteed and no more temporary.

But they had been creating workplace environment, manipulating her husband (don’t know what to say, whether I should call him such a innocent, trusting person, or  stupid/ignorant person who deserves his dire future divorce as he has been significantly helping / contributing for these to be together during nights of years (he did the scheduling for them) with their plots. If these vicious human beings don’t break up in between from now
to the time of permanent position, it would be this woman’s husband whom would be evicted from his own house when she files her divorce.

While these two have worked on shaping other people’s mind in their favor, I haven’t had any outlet to talk about
this, because it may make him get fired and can not provide for his and family (although it was going to be temporary, to be sure).

And now, this divorce process doesn’t allow me to talk anything. It seems to be automatic process without hearing anything, but it just goes along whatever his lawyer says. I don’t have any outlet to talk to anybody for my side story. Because still this vicious guy has to provide his children financially, and financially prevented me from
getting access to money over years. So, I have been mute and feel like systematically being screwed up. After 15 years of grilling prison-like life of marriage, continuous screaming/beating of years, and all these odeal of humilation, the judge is still cutting off my share of financial support because of this criminal framing by him/she and my academic degree while the city is facing dire deepening recession.

All though marriage, the vicious guy never cared for anybody but himself, neglected kids/family. But now he is desperately manipulating kids with sugar lips/caring words, and sudden outgoings (he never went out for anything for us.) for the last 6month-1yrs while hitting, belittling their mom in front of them , in preparation of taking custody. And kids seem to be buying him, they are not concerned about hitting part at all, not awaring that, with his temper, what kind of danger they could face if they live alone with him for extended time period, not just a few hours or a few days without other adult around.

And the judge says he is not sure who is truthful or not and judges the case with the assumption that Ex has not committed any physical violence, despite my pictures of bruises and medical records.

In long term, if this guy and the woman get together, I wouldn’t mind, rather would be happy to see how she will eventually suffer through the miserable life that I have had.

Last sunday, the pastor summoned about “Constant Gratitude to God.” I don’t seem to be religiously that much mature to appreciate God for every good things and misery, though I may have to try. And now I don’t have legal outlet to talk about, discuss any of this. That’s why, for now, I seem to have completely lost my trust on “Justice,” “Fairness,” and the righteousness of legal system, the society, the world.